January 2012
3 posts
I wish I could blow my head off, all over this bed.
Really, the one time I needed you, you weren’t there.
Saw you downtown singing the blues
It’s time to face the music,
I am no longer your muse…
November 2011
11 posts
How fucked up is it that I work for money to buy tools I will probably more than likely use to end my own life?
1 tag
Watch
1 tag
1 tag
October 2011
1 post
send me these
1. Do you starve yourself sometimes? Yes
2. Have you ever binged? Yes
3. Do you like Mexican food? Yes
4. Chinese? Yes
5. Italian? Kinda
6. American? Not really
7. Have you ever been on a diet? So many
8. Do you like vegetables? Love
9. On a scale from 1 to 5 how much do you eat a day (1= not eating, 5= eating 3 meals)? 3
10. Do you think you eat healthily? No
11. Do you think you are ugly? Yes
12. Do you like your hair? Sometimes
13. Do you like the way you look? No
14. Would you want to change anything? My weight
15. Do you think your fat? Very
16. Do you wear a shirt when you go swimming? Used to
17. Do you care how other people see you? Not really, I'm hard enough on myself
18. Do you or have you ever worn braces? No
19. Do you wear glasses and or contacts? No
20. Do you want to gain weight, lose weight, or stay about the same? Lose 60 pounds!
21. Is there someone that you do not wont to hang out with, but they hang out with you? No, just the opposite
22. Do you feel like your too good for someone in your crowd? Never
23. Do you like someone in your group of friends? My bf, I guess
24. Have you kissed anyone in your group of friends? ^
25. Is there someone you can not trust, that you call a friend? Pretty much all my friends except like, two
26. Who do you feel closest to as a friend? FRIEND, Ashley
27. Do you get along with your parents? Nope
28. Ever lied to them or denied something? All the time
29. Angry with someone in your family? Constantly
30. How do your parents respond to you having a bf/gf? They don't care about my life
31. Have you ever gotten a F on a test? Yeah
32. Ever failed a class in your entire life? French
33. Ever made honor roll? Mostly every year
34. Ever just stopped caring for a little bit? A lot a bit
35. Got a detention? Yes, many
36. Got Saturday detention? Yes, a handful
37. Have you ever been expelled? No
38. Have you ever been suspended? Once
39. Stole anything from a teacher? No
40. Cheated on a test in any way? Yeah
41. You love/like anyone? My bf
42. Have you kissed this person? All the time
43. Do you enjoy kissing? Very much so
44. Ever cheated on anyone? Ummmmmm.... yeah
45. Ever dumped someone? Yes
46. Your best kiss was with whom? My current bf, he's a very sensitive kisser
47. Do you like to cuddle with this person? I love it
48. If you best friend did not like your lover, what would you do? She would get over it
49. Do you trust your bf/gf with your life? I sure do
50. How are things going between you guys? What is your best memory? They're great. I think my fav memory so far is getting a text that said, "I want to tell you something, but I'm afraid it's too soon."
51. Do you have a job? No
52. How much do you get paid? ---
53. Why do you have a job, and if you do not have one, why not? OMG lonnng story! Lost it from having seizures is the short version, I guess.
54. Is the job through school? Dropped out of school for the same reason
55. Do you enjoy it? I love school
56. Can you still manage free time? I have too much of it
57. Are you saving up for anything in the future? No
58. What do you want to do as a career? Sports Physical Therapist
59. Do you consider yourself a responsible person? Mostly
60. Can you support a family tomorrow? No
61. Do you consider yourself a lazy person? Sometimes
62. Do you have a lot of spare time? Too much
63. Can you stay inside all day without getting bored? I'm getting better at it
64. How many hours a week about, do you use the computer? None, I have an iPhone I Do everything on
65. How many hours a week about, do you use the tv? I don't know...... 5?
66. Can you sit in front of a computer or tv screen the entire day? No way! Used to
67. What do you do if you have the flu? Wait it out
68. Do you have any chores around the house? Do you get paid? No.. No.
69. Do your parents think you are lazy? Yes, they are total assholes no matter what I do
70. Anthrax is released into the air tomorrow, can you live out of your house on what you have now? Nope, there is NO food
71. Do you play sports? Hahahahaha
72. Do you watch sports? Hockey
73. Do you do anything professionally? Suck cock... haha no
74. Tried in any extreme sports? See above lol
75. Ever tried surfing? Well, I DO live in California
76. Ever ran track? When I was forced to in PE
77. What grade did you get in PE last? B
78. Have you ever been to a live game? Yeah
79. Have you ever played hokey? Nope
80. From a scale of 1 to 5 how athletic are you (1=nerd, 5=very athletic)? 1
81. Ever ran from the cops? Hahahaha YES!
82. If so, why were you running, what did you do? My brother and his friend were setting a field on fire; I managed to sneak away and steal the one bike we had. I got away with it totally free!
83. Do you think drugs are good? It seriously depends. Yes is a possible serious answer
84. Do you think alcohol is good? No. Wait, red wine in moderation is.
85. Ever been on contract or probation? Nope
86. Ever experienced house-arrest? No
87. Would you go to jail for your bf/gf and if you do not have one, your parents? It depends for what?
88. Ever attacked a cop? No
89. Do cops know your name? I know a cop personally, does that count?
90. Ever spent the night in jail? No
91. Do you like horror movies? Used to, but I have anxiety now
92. If you do why? If you do not, why not? See above hahaha
93. Now whats the real reason?
94. About how many times do you go to the movies a month? I haven't been in two years!
95. Do you consider yourself a movie-goer? I used to be but I don't want to spend that much money anymore
96. Do you like movie dates? I would yeah
97. A movie...... which one came to your head first? Zookeeper. I don't know why. It looks really stupid!
98. What if life was like a movie? I would be the character that killed herself already and fucked up everyone's good time
99. Do you like long series movies, like Lord of the Rings? No, I do not
100. Comedy...... which movie came to your head first? Waiting!
September 2011
76 posts
2 tags
1 tag
2 tags
2 tags
10 tags
Your are so cold.
Tonight is going to be the last time
That I ever write about you,
That I ever cry,
That I ever say goodbye.
Tonight is the night a part of me dies forever,
The part of me that was you and I.
They'll never hurt me like you do.
2 tags
Without you life is like a broken pencil, pointless.
Tomorrow
Tomorrow
I’m gonna find a way
To die
I’m living only for a lover
And the death of you and I
But if you find a way to break my back
With needles, thread, and guilt
Will you cover me in kerosene
And burn my strychnine quilt
Yeah, will you spit upon the path I took
Will you cry from all the drugs I took
Will be my little come down hook
And I’ll never ask again
Will I...
You were told by the one, exactly what to do
“So just give in?” No, that’s how you help. What? Is this a fucking game to you?
We are standing our grounds,
just to see how long it takes for one of us to back down?
I’m doing this on all alone.
You’re trying to survive? The will for me to live is a struggle everyday day and I have been doing it almost my entire...
My dash would be PERFECT if:
There were fewer post of
1. Ass fucking, and
2. Hairy twat.
Both disgust me.
Failed...
…but I didn’t try very hard. I love Ashley, my dad, and brothers too much. It felt good though.
However………………
2 tags
“It seems we demand humans to live with indignity, pain and anguish whereas we...”
– Dr. Philip Nitschke
3 tags
Alone.
Being alone is truly the most painful thing I have ever experienced. I have no one to blame but myself. At least the moon looks beautiful tonight. I’m going to sleep under her.